There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
