I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
