Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
