My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
