I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
This is my gift to your gina
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize