she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
