So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
