I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
