Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
