arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
