I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
