Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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