An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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