My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
