the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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