My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
