You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I FOUND THE LEGS
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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