Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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