At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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