I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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