brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
