where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
