I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
