butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
