she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
did i just pee glitter
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
