I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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