Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
