but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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