who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
