Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
