I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
