I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
