She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
