But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
