Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
