Can Purell be used as lube?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
