How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
