He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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