your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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