quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
