Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
