fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
