i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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