That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
