we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
