were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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