the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm really busy with my period
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