We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
