Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
