You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
