The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I can feel your judgement through the phone
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
