i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
