Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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