His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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