Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
