Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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