4 words: hood of his car
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I forget how to act sober
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
