I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
