Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
