i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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