Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
