omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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