You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize