real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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