I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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